No one will ever be you or parent exactly like you, but more than likely, there is someone you know that could do a decent job providing for your children’s general welfare, education, and medical needs if you are no longer available to do so. Parents with minor children need to name someone to raise them (a guardian) in the event both parents should die before the child becomes an adult. While the likelihood of that actually happening is slim, the consequences of not naming a guardian are more than intense.

If no guardian is named in your will, a judge – a stranger who does not know you, your child, or your relatives and friends – will decide who will raise your child. Anyone can ask to be considered, and the judge will select the person he or she deems most appropriate. Families tend to fight over children, especially if there’s money involved – and worse – no one may be willing to take your child; if that happens, the judge will place your child in foster care. On the other hand, if you name a guardian, the judge will likely support your choice.

How to Choose a Guardian

Your children’s guardian can be a relative or friend. Here are the factors our clients have considered when selecting guardians (and backup guardians).

• How well the children and potential guardian know and enjoy each other

• Parenting style, moral values, educational level, health practices, religious/spiritual beliefs

• Location – if the guardian lives far away, your children would have to move from a familiar school, friends, and neighborhood

• The age and health of the guardian-candidates:

• Grandparents may have the time, but they may or may not have the energy to keep up with a toddler or teenager.

• An older guardian may become ill and/or even die before a child is grown, so there would be a double loss.

• A younger guardian, especially a sibling, may be concentrating on finishing college or starting a career.

• Emotional preparedness:

• Someone who is single or who doesn’t want children may resent having to care for your children.

• Someone with a houseful of their own children may or may not want more around.

WARNING:Serving as guardian and raising your children is a big deal; don’t spring such a responsibility on anyone. Ask your top candidates if they would be willing to serve, and name at least one alternate in case the first choice becomes unable to serve.

Who’s in Charge of the Money

Raising your children should not be a financial burden for the guardian, and a candidate’s lack of finances should not be the deciding factor. You will need to provide enough money (from assets and/or life insurance) to provide for your children. Some parents also earmark funds to help the guardian buy a larger car or add to their existing home, so there’s plenty of room for extra children.

Factors to consider:

• Naming a separate person to handle the money can be a good idea. That person would be the trustee in charge of the assets, but not guardian of the children, responsible for the day-to-day raising of the children.

• However, having the same person raise the children and handle the money can make things simpler because the guardian would not have to ask someone else for money.

• But the best person to raise the children may not be the best person to handle the money and it may be tempting for them to use this money for their own purposes.

Let’s Continue this Conversation

We know it’s not easy, but don’t let that stop you. We’re happy to talk this through with you and legally document your wishes. Know that you can change your mind and select a different guardian anytime you’d like. The chances of needing the guardian to actually step in are usually slim (we always hope this is the one nomination that’s never actually needed); but, you’re a parent and your job is to provide for and protect your children, so let’s do this. Call our office now for an appointment and we’ll get your children protected. 918-928-9573

Who Makes a Good Guardian?

A guardian for your minor child “steps into” your shoes in the event you can no longer care for him or her. No one wants this to happen, but when a parent becomes incapacitated or dies, the minor child left behind will need care. Because a guardian plays such an important role in your family’s life, there are several factors to consider when choosing someone to take on this role:

1. Shared values. It is best to choose someone who has a common level of religious belief. For example, if you are not the religious type you may have objections to someone who would expect your child to join and regularly attend church.
2. Parenting style.Whether you run a tight ship at home or prefer a laissez-faire approach to raising children, choosing someone who will continue in your style is likely the best fit.
3. Involvement.Someone who travels all the time will not be able to regularly show up to your kids’ soccer games, gymnastics meets, band concerts, and live theater performances — an important part of being a guardian to your children.
4. Energy level.Having the stamina to be able to keep up with your child — especially during the younger years — is an important factor.
5. Other children.While a potential guardian who already has children should not be a deal breaker, you should consider how adding more children into the family will affect the dynamic, particularly when it comes to the ages of the kids.

Other Factors to Consider

In the same manner that you can choose different individuals to manage the estate’s finances and your minor children’s day-to-day needs, you can also choose more than one guardian for your kids. You may want to assign one guardian per child, depending on your family’s circumstances. That being said, setting up guardianship this way may result in your children being separated from one another, which is usually not a good outcome. Choosing someone who has the resources to care for your children — even if you have left money behind for their care — should also be a factor to consider. Finally, choosing someone who is young enough to be able to care for your child through his or her adulthood, as well as someone who is in good enough health to withstand the challenges of raising a child, are important factors that should be taken into account.

Once you have made a decision on who will be your child’s guardian, contact an experienced estate planning attorney. We can draft the documents you need in order to make this legally binding, as well as create an estate plan that suits your family’s needs and will protect your loved ones in the event you are no longer able to do so yourself. Call us today at 918-928-9573.