No one will ever be you or parent exactly like you, but more than likely, there is someone you know that could do a decent job providing for your children’s general welfare, education, and medical needs if you are no longer available to do so. Parents with minor children need to name someone to raise them (a guardian) in the event both parents should die before the child becomes an adult. While the likelihood of that actually happening is slim, the consequences of not naming a guardian are more than intense.

If no guardian is named in your will, a judge – a stranger who does not know you, your child, or your relatives and friends – will decide who will raise your child. Anyone can ask to be considered, and the judge will select the person he or she deems most appropriate. Families tend to fight over children, especially if there’s money involved – and worse – no one may be willing to take your child; if that happens, the judge will place your child in foster care. On the other hand, if you name a guardian, the judge will likely support your choice.

How to Choose a Guardian

Your children’s guardian can be a relative or friend. Here are the factors our clients have considered when selecting guardians (and backup guardians).

• How well the children and potential guardian know and enjoy each other

• Parenting style, moral values, educational level, health practices, religious/spiritual beliefs

• Location – if the guardian lives far away, your children would have to move from a familiar school, friends, and neighborhood

• The age and health of the guardian-candidates:

• Grandparents may have the time, but they may or may not have the energy to keep up with a toddler or teenager.

• An older guardian may become ill and/or even die before a child is grown, so there would be a double loss.

• A younger guardian, especially a sibling, may be concentrating on finishing college or starting a career.

• Emotional preparedness:

• Someone who is single or who doesn’t want children may resent having to care for your children.

• Someone with a houseful of their own children may or may not want more around.

WARNING:Serving as guardian and raising your children is a big deal; don’t spring such a responsibility on anyone. Ask your top candidates if they would be willing to serve, and name at least one alternate in case the first choice becomes unable to serve.

Who’s in Charge of the Money

Raising your children should not be a financial burden for the guardian, and a candidate’s lack of finances should not be the deciding factor. You will need to provide enough money (from assets and/or life insurance) to provide for your children. Some parents also earmark funds to help the guardian buy a larger car or add to their existing home, so there’s plenty of room for extra children.

Factors to consider:

• Naming a separate person to handle the money can be a good idea. That person would be the trustee in charge of the assets, but not guardian of the children, responsible for the day-to-day raising of the children.

• However, having the same person raise the children and handle the money can make things simpler because the guardian would not have to ask someone else for money.

• But the best person to raise the children may not be the best person to handle the money and it may be tempting for them to use this money for their own purposes.

Let’s Continue this Conversation

We know it’s not easy, but don’t let that stop you. We’re happy to talk this through with you and legally document your wishes. Know that you can change your mind and select a different guardian anytime you’d like. The chances of needing the guardian to actually step in are usually slim (we always hope this is the one nomination that’s never actually needed); but, you’re a parent and your job is to provide for and protect your children, so let’s do this. Call our office now for an appointment and we’ll get your children protected. 918-928-9573

What To Do After the Honeymoon

As you start living happily ever after, make sure to attend to these post-honeymoon to-dos during the first few days (or even weeks) after your wedding. This will help you enjoy the memories of your wedding and honeymoon for years to come. The following checklist can serve as a reminder of some, but not all, of the tasks to which you should give your immediate attention:

• Meet with a knowledgeable estate planning attorney to discuss the creation of a will or trust, or to update one from before you got married;
• Review and update your medical proxy documents and provide copies to your necessary doctors’ offices;
• Check and update beneficiary designations on any life insurance policies, 401(k)s, IRAs, annuities, and other investment accounts;
• Seek advice from your tax preparer about whether or not you should adjust your withholdings to reflect your new marital status;
• Obtain life insurance, if you do not already have coverage, and designate a beneficiary and a contingent beneficiary;
• If you have or are planning to move, notify your auto insurer, banks, employer, and anyone else of your new address;
• Add your spouse to your group health and/or dental insurance policy, if necessary; and
• Change ownership of real property, if you choose to, to reflect your marital status;

In addition to the above, if you decide to legally change your name make sure to notify the following institutions:

• Schools;
• Employer(s);
• Department of Motor Vehicles;
• Creditors and debtors;
• Social Security Administration;
• Passport office;
• Insurance agencies;
• State taxing authorities;
• Telephone and utility companies;
• Banks and financial institutions;
• Government benefit office.

Contact an Experienced Estate Planning Attorney

We are here to help guide you through the estate planning process and to make sure that the financial and legal aspects of your life correctly match your new marital status. Contact us today to learn about how we can help you enjoy your wedded bliss with financial and legal security. 918-928-9573